Lately I have been reminiscing about old friendships. Old ties that once colored each and every day. As I get older, I understand more now how people can and do drift apart. We grow up, we live, we love, and suddenly we are living in different places and it's no longer a short drive away to your doorstep. We made many memories you and I. The laughter we shared warms my heart still. The tears we shed still weigh heavy upon me. But I love that friendship has so many layers. The first layer starts at hello, then the weighing of whether I liked you or not. So many first impressions were not what they were. With you, we hit it off right from the start, with you, it took us a while to decide whether we qualified as friends, and with you, we grew to be inseparable - first layer of every friendship. Oh, life has a way of providing us what we lack through strangers that end up being soul sisters. The second layer is filled with visits, talks, chats, and get-togethers. It is perfect and effortless. Then life happens and the waves drifts us apart but only by distance. Speaking for myself, I still hold you close and dear to my heart. With time the old friendships are like fine wine, while new friendships continue to blosom, giving life a breath of freshness on a continual basis. I guess such is the cycle of friendship.
I find myself in awe of how the presence of friends weaves a fabric of comfort, confidence, and self-chosen sisterhood. Of course some friendships have taken a lot of work to get to where they are. But oh how beautiful the journey.There is this third layer I find myself in with so many friends that I do not get to see anymore or even hear from. The layer that is filled with memories, fond, and vibrant of what used to be. Sometimes I find myself crying when these moments engulf me. Then my extrovert nature reminds me that sometimes friendships are meant to last a lifetime, some to take you through a phase in life, and some to be in that friend's life in that period of her life to see her through, to hold her hand. Then I smile because I accomplished something, often unbeknownst to me at the time.
For those I have had the grace to still hear their voices, feel their hug and see their faces as we catch up, I cherish the moments, because life goes on, and we might grow apart, but in distance only.
I don't know which layer goodbyes really fall into. I guess like thieves, they could come in any of the three layers. If goodbye came for you and I, it was wonderful having you as a friend. But I cling to the hope that if it hasn't robbed us of this beautiful thing we share, it will never come because even when you go away, the friendship lives on. Even when life pulls you away to it's other priorities, may the light always shine. Even if darkness clouds your world, you will know that you can reach out and find my hand waiting for yours. Even if your burdens seem heavy and you feel alone, you will remember that as long as we once were friends, you never have to be alone.
