Ode To Mama Dama

It is Mothers' Day!
This past few days I have particularly lingered on the blessings that God has bestowed upon me thus far by simply letting me be my Mother's daughter. See, Mama Dama has weathered so many storms, but like the sequioa tree that lines the California rivers, she stands solid, unswayed;Imara. My mother has the kind of heart that will give her last morsel of food to a hungry stranger because she has faith that God will provide for her like He always has. She will give up the shirt on her back without question because her gift is giving. Her joy is giving. Her life is giving. She gives of her time, resources however limited, and love. One thing however, I value most is her prayers for me. Have you ever felt that grace that blankets you and rocks you and comforts you? Yeah, I feel that every day because God shows her favor. Her deepest desire is for her children to be blessed. So God grants her her wishes and blesses me. How Jesus-like is that love? How deep? How wide? It is an awesome kind of love - a Mother's Love. A single post could never say it enough, a song could never express my love for her.

She is God's reflection of His love for me. How overwhelming! My heart is full, my spirit rejoices for all the Good Lord continues to do for my Mom.

She is an infinite river of strength, even though often,she may hide below it
She is the brightest ray of sun, and it shows in her eyes, shows in her ways.
She is the kindest of souls, even when bitter and angry ones try to break her.
She reminds me of Paul, her tenacity, her passion for good, her love for God.
She is the silent force of the ocean waters, when you know her, you feel it.
She is the bluest of skies.... clouds may float by with shades of grey, but she stays above.
She is the strongest of winds, she amazes me.
Her touch is gentle and most soothing. Her love is pure, true, genuine, constant.

I pray for good health, long life, and strength every day for Mama Dama. She is the reason I am who I am today. I am grounded due to her influence, I am confident and strong because of her experiences. She teaches me just by being. She encourages me just by being present. I heard her voice first; it is her voice I want to hear every time I feel sad, low and even happy. The indescribable feeling when she says my name, calls me 'Kamet', call me 'Mamee'..... I could conquer the world. And I do. :)

Happy Mother's Day! I celebrate you every day.
Love,
Dama.

Oscillation of Covenant Love.

Painful dips, elating highs, slow, boring plateaus...

The force sways you, the falls could break steel, but they don't break you.

Oscillation of covenant love.

Powerful strides of progress, 

Seemingly shameful backward steps, the center remains.

When the winds find new route, and the storms new ground,

Back to center as was intended, the ball goes.

The sweet sway from reckless motions.

The constant trust from doubtful years.

Swinging to the rhythm of angels' song

Just as was back in Eden, when they were blind to their nakedness

Covenant love was tender, covenant love was pure

Back to center each wave, back to center each oscillation.

Covenant love.

When Faith Meets Science

Today I started a lifetime journey, one that will form new life if and when God wills. I embarked on what sounds like a science project but in essence, is an affirmation of the wisdom that God has given man to understand His (God's) creation. It is amazing that the formation of a human being can be described in two ways that both evoke awe and wonder.

1. Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Gen 2:7

2. The birds and the bees version.... 😝. Well, the biological story where the egg meets the sperm and just like that, life begins. Of coz that is putting it a little too simply.

Infertility is seldom discussed in my African culture. It is simply not an accepted state of womanhood! Yet so many couples suffer in silence, some bearing ridicule from parents, family and friends. It is a shame to be infertile, and it is always the woman's fault. How then does one handle such stigma, such insensitivity and ignorance?

I delight in tender hugs and drooly kisses. I relish a baby's belly laugh and cherub face. I desire the sleepless nights that rise from an angelic human that depends on me.I long for the pains of labor. But I do not suffer for all these. The Lord gives; who am I to demand a gift? The Lord takes, who am I to lay claim on a soul?

Today the Lord started His project for me; I think He is testing to see how patient with Him I really have been. See, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen (Heb 11:1). So the first step was a consultation with Dr. S.K. Kavoussi. He speaks in confidence, he has an aura that is assuring, and trust-worthy is the air about him. And right here in the consultation room, faith meets science.
Selah.

02/26/16

My Jean

Back in 2012, I met this amazing woman, Jean. She was 89 years old. Asked me if I had a grandma....I told her my paternal was living but my maternal had passed on the Christmas eve prior. She was so sad for me and then in her humorous way trying to console me, said "Well, I am up for adoption if you want me". Too cute, right? She wouldn't leave the hospital till my manager said ok to give her my number. I saw her about every week or so, spoke often and even shared meals together. Once, we went to see a performance at a theatre. She delighted in theatre and her excitement was almost palpable every time we had a date! She was my adopted Grandma. She came for my graduation, she was there at my wedding. Her calls always involved "Are you pregnant yet? When am I going to be a great grandma?" Her New York accent was like music to my ears!
We moved to Austin but we never lost touch. She called, I called, we talked, we laughed. She had nine lives I always teased her. She bounced back from surgeries like a teen! Despite a few hiccups every blue moon, she went back to her own independent lifestyle. See, she loved her own space, her own stuff, in her own terms. New York frame of mind. Well, Jean must be on her 9th life because for weeks I tried to call and no one picked up. Today I finally Whatsapp'ed her son. He had the worst of news. Hospice. My heart broke. She is 93 now. I know she has lived her life to the fullest. She loved dearly, and genuinely. I wish I could be by her side. I wish I could hold her hand and tell her it's going to be okay.....

She loved flowers- roses especially. She glowed in joy every time she received them. It was the way to her heart! She was a beautiful flower herself. Special lady.

Jean passed on on the 21st of December. My heart still aches for her; always will. I cannot describe what I feel even now. She was not an ordinary old lady. She had spark, resolve, and spirit that you just do not see in others her age. I wish Jean would call me again, leave one of her long voicemails....... I miss her. I loved her. I love her.

Running Delights.....or not - Energy Gels

So you label yourself a runner; maybe even an avid one. I'm just a girl putting one foot in front of the other for fun. Bragging rights. I have never felt so macho than when I finished Austin's roughest Half Marathon. Decker. I get the bubble guts just thinking back to that day!! But that is a whole other story.
Let me tell you about my recent experience with energy gels. I love my GU. well, in the beginning I did not. But then I tried different flavors and now I love the salted caramel and Chocolate outrage. I can never find the Mint Chocolate in any of the GNCs I get my stash from! Anyway, I was running the Austin's Rogue Running Festival's 10K this past Sunday. There was a Huma stand. And I love freebies. I picked up some energy gels and was excited to try them on my next long run.
Tuesday rolled around and my super disciplined running partner needed us to get 10 miles in. Huh? Yep! We have to get ready for the 3M. So I grabbed my packet of Huma gel - Lemonade flavor. Good stuff!! It was more palatable than the GU in terms of texture. I was excited! Maybe I have a new gel love..... By the 4th mile I am still rolling and feeling good, but a rumble begins deep in my belly. Oh no!! Any runner will tell you they dread having to stop to poo. I ignored the feeling and at Mile 7, I was ready for my second shot of gel. My back-up packet was a GU. Chocolate Outrage baby! But now my mind is no longer concentrating on what my buddy is saying but trying to just get home. Thankfully, mine is a growing community. Lots of potta-potties due to so many new constructions going on. One, then two. I passed both saying to myself "I can do this". It is a horrible feeling I tell you.
My GU is kicking in and I have to slow down because my buddy is lagging a wee bit behind. Rumbling. Gas. Oops! I have to get to a bathroom! I don't tell my girl all this because we are having an awesome run and who wants to hear about bubble guts anyway? LOL! My routine is always the same. The only change was the new gel I consumed. There! That may very well be the cause of my stomach troubles.
We finished the 10 miles thankfully but my race was not over. Spent the entire day running to the bathroom with the bubble guts. I will give the Huma gel another chance on a shorter run see if maybe it was just a fluke. I hope it was because I really liked the consistency and taste of it!
Will write an update soon
Yours,
The Running Wife.