My grandfather had two wives. Yes, out of this marriage twenty children were brought to this world. One of them is one special lady, my Mama. That was the time when traditional culture WAS the law, before the British colonialism painted civilization on the canvas that is my homeland. My grandpa is about 95 years old, a man strong in stature and conviction. A man who found solid ground in religion that the white man brought to his native land. This religion of Christianity preached a one man one wife policy. What to do? He loved both my grandmothers dearly, and not a day did I see any favoritism of one over the other. He is a special breed for sure. When the constitution was written after Kenya gained independence, those that had multiple wives were 'grandfathered in' but it was illegal henceforth, to marry a second wife.One woman, one husband. The Brits left, we continued to grow in our civilization, albeit slowly.
I have been in the diaspora for almost 12 years. Surely my country did not just take a step back into the pre-colonization era in a snap of a finger yesterday, did it??? In my innocent belief in the sturdy leadership of Uhuru Kenyatta (pardon me but after the Oranges and Bananas, I lost track of Kenyan politics inasmuch as papa tried to keep me updated and up to speed on stuff). So my belief may not have had solid grounding, lacking in better grasp of the undercurrents that prevailed in Kenyan politics. When I heard of this bill that allows men to marry more than wife and that they did not have to inform the first wife, I brushed it off as something that would not stick. I mean, Uhuru to sign that bogus bill into law? We are talking an Amherst graduate. A breed of a civilized nation's higher education system. Nah, that bill would just roll off and be forgotten. Surely Uhuru would not feed into that mess that is big-bellied greedy fools in parliament who want to feed their ego by asserting their power in ludicrous ways, like marrying more than one wife? My argument was that we have a level-headed, smart head of state who has one wife, one First Lady. I know she would not be alright with sharing that role with some clandestine female who suddenly wants to share her domain, right? But oh was I wrong! Typical African is what some would say of Uhuru now that he has signed Kenya into doom. Really. Is that what wielding power in politics is about? Having multiple options to openly expose oneself and other women to a higher risk of HIV/AIDS, and other God-knows what other STDs?
There was a time I prided myself in my citizenship every time I saw Kenya in the US news, BBC and all other mainstream media channels. I swell in pride like a bull-frog when I see the runners cross the finish line with the ribbon across their torsos. I am pleased to hear that we are well-represented in the swimming competitions in SA. Whenever someone asks where my accent is from, I feel they should already know it is Kenyan just from the sheer grandeur that I hold my country upon.
Today, I want to hide. I want to be invisible so I do not have to face the fact that my country just retracted back into pre-colonial times when a man could marry more than one wife. I wonder how that happened without having to get colonized for close to 70 years all over again? I want to kick Uhuru's ass and gouge his eyes out. But I can't, and I won't. That would only feed the bear. The Daily Nation called it 'shameful and retrogressive'. Very accurate description of this whole saga. Some politicians had the audacity to claim that this law will reduce prostitution and HIV/AIDS, infidelity, and cheating. Really? So help me understand. Does the fact that it is now law-protected to sleep with a dozen women negate the prevalence of HIV infection? Does the umbrella of the bill act as a condom now? Maybe I am missing something here but seriously, REALLY? Who, really is the ho here, 'prostituting' themselves to multiple women who they have branded 'wives' simply because it is now lawful? He who chooses to marry other wives chooses to be the prostitute, the infidel, the cheating partner simply because the law now supports the practice. So there, Njoka, what you say now?
Do the parliamentary members who drafted this bill think they are doing women a favor? So I hear that the relationship dynamics in Kenya is screwed up in this time and age, with some women totally fine being 'monogamous' with a married man and totally okay being the sidekick. But that happens the world over; not just Kenya. So maybe these women want their share of the wealth and ability to invoke the law when scorned or in the event they are dumped for a better catch. But any individual with a brain, even some, in their skulls will see that this is the beginning of a downfall. A downfall of a country that has struggled to be where it is today in matters of health, politics, and socio-economics. I can hear ululations from some women who this law favors. But little do they know that they too will be the victims of the very same law that they thought provided them a footing in the supposed marriage.
The divinity of marriage has been mocked by the law. And right in my face, I see that the end of the world is near. I believe the Kenyan woman has powers that only she can wield. She will stand, she will be heard despite the noise from arrogant bigots who think they run this. The Kenyan woman who is for the marriage institution as being one man one woman contract will find a way to show these particular men that strength does not just lie in places of power, abused or otherwise, but also in crevices of maternal instinct....the power of a woman.
I am just a woman scorned from a distance by a law that affects my people. I am no professional writer, just a victim by association, a victim by virtue of gender.
